If you’re both beautifully crazy enough to give your Long Distance Relationship a shot, then that’s great and I congratulate you both! But there are a few other points I’d like to make, some of them might seem Hairy McScary, but you can get through it!! Other points are more like tips, ones I hope might help!

 

Activities

Now you’re in a LDR, you may wonder after a while what options do you both have other than staring lovingly at each other for hours on end…Well, you’d be surprised!

Games

With the wonders of online access, there are so many games out there to play. You don’t have to have a Playstation or Xbox to enjoy gaming. There are plenty of simple ones available via facebook or apps. Or alternatively, if you have a decent connection and good amount of room on your computer, you can create a Steam Account and find plenty of awesome games for either cheap or free! I’ve compiled a few games with multi-player options, here are some of the ones we played! I’ve also thrown a couple of PS4 options in there that have recently come out.

Steam

Playstation 3

Playstation 4

Nintendo Switch

Other

 

 

Personal Projects

Having a project to work on can really help time fly and also strengthen your bond. It’s these challenges that helps to build a foundation for a relationship, because when you do finally end up living together, you will be using those skills to build a life with each other. It also helps you both work out your strengths and weaknesses (>:3) and to find out how well you do work together.

For us, I helped teach Shane programs like Photoshop and gave him lessons on drawing techniques, we also worked on our webcomics together, encouraging and giving critique when we needed it. Perhaps you could write a story, or learn to play the guitar, learn a language, start an Instagram or cult together or maybe write a blog!

 

Diary

Keep an online diary together, this is especially useful if you do live really far away from each other. With Google drive it is now extremely easy to share documents and calenders with each other. For each day (or whenever anything interesting/important came up), Shane and I would write it down in the diary, so when we woke the next day we could read how the other persons day went. This is a great way to keep up with communication and knowing how each other feel, especially if you can’t talk straight away because of having to run errands or something.

 

Movies and TV shows

Oh boy did this entertain us for hours on end! We didn’t realise at the time there was such a site as Gaze, so we would find movies and time them up, then on the count of 3 hit the play button at the same time. Shane hadn’t actually watched many films, where as I’m a bit of a film buff, so in my excitement I showed Shane hours and hours of my favourite films, along with watching some new and old TV shows and movies neither of us had seen before.

Once we even managed to time up going to the cinema together, that was interesting! It also showed how many freaking adverts the UK showings had in comparison to NZ!!! SERIOUSLY CINEMA, SORT THAT OUT! Shane had already watched 15 minutes of the movie before it started for me!

Yea, we never tried the cinema again….

This is a great way to hangout, it also gives you an insight into each others tastes, and also another theme for conversations that, if you’re like us, will pick apart stories and talk about characters for hours on end 😀

 

Friends and Family

For those of you who are social animals, this is something you are going to have to carefully balance out, especially if one of you is more introvert that the other. You have to be patient and show consideration towards one another because it can be a struggle against jealousy and isolation. The other issue which may arise might be where your friends don’t fully understand the concept of an LDR, or not take your relationship seriously, which in turn can lead them to becoming upset at you for choosing someone you met online rather than spending time with them.

To over-come this, an idea might be that at birthdays, festivals or New Years, you could include each other with your friends. I used to put Shane on an ipad at certain occasions so that he could see what was going on, and my friends and family could get used to him and understand that we are a definite part of each others lives.

In contrast to this, it is also important that you allow each other to spend time with their friends and family on their own, ESPECIALLY if one of you has decided to commit and move country, county or state. These next few months or years might be the last quality time you can have with those you care about for a very long time, so make the most of it.

 

MEETING UP

Come on, it’s going to happen eventually, AND THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST EXCITING PART!!! When you finally get to hug that person who you’ve only seen through a rubbish quality little video window, or chatted to via all those 1000’s of different messengers! I remember the first time Shane and I met back in February 2015 (though our relationship was platonic back then, we adored each other! It was such an exciting experience!) I was exhausted when I went through the gate at Auckland airport (after over 30 hours travelling, you can’t blame me!), and Shane was in so much shock he couldn’t talk, he ended up having to bang against a metal pole to get my attention!

We had such an amazing two weeks of exploring around New Zealand, we celebrated my 29th birthday together and I spent a lot of time with Shane’s family ;w; who were so awesome and welcoming (even after we transformed their living room into our fortress of solitude – yes, pillows and blankets included), when it came to the end, holy moly did that high turn into a downwards spiral.

We couldn’t stop crying. In the airport, we just clung to each other and cried. But hey, you gotta get used to it because unfortunately it’s part of the package 🙁

It got even worse after Shane came to the UK for a month in September, because we decided to give a proper relationship a shot and knowing how we really felt for one another made the good byes at the airport PURE TORTURE! There’s no hiding this, just….Make sure you have tissues, and if it helps, give your partner a sim card so when they are on the other side of the gate you can call each other and chat BECAUSE AIRPORTS ARE CRUEL AND HAVE LIMITED INTERNET ACCESS!

 

The Big Decisions

For us, we came to a certain point in our relationship where we couldn’t stand being apart, sure we coped, but we were tired of not being able to do things together, which we had been desperate to do for years even just as friends! But this isn’t an easy choice to make, one of you has to decide who is going to uproot their life and make the leap, or perhaps you both have chosen to make the move and meet in the middle somewhere (if that’s possible for you!) The point is, you both will need to sit down and seriously talk, make a list of the pros and cons and if this sort of commitment is something you’re even ready for. Unlike most relationships, if you get into an really heated argument and need to cool off, one of you might start to feel trapped when they realise that there’s not many places which they can head too to escape.

There’s also other things to consider like:

  • Jobs – Are you able to rely on just one wage income? Is it difficult to get employment in that area? Can you get a job before you make the move?
  • Money – Do you have enough savings? Will it last you until you find a job? Can this potentially put pressure on your relationship?
  • Accommodation – Are you both able to afford rent? If living with parents, has your partner met them yet and how comfortable will they be there with them? Is it possible for you both to buy a place or to put your partner on the mortgage?
  • Car/Travel – Is your partner allowed to drive in your country? Can you both afford a car? Can your partner exchange their driving license for one in your country*?

*Because Shane is a New Zealander, he is able to exchange his NZ license for a UK one, which is great as it makes certain things a LOT easier in the long run!

 

This whole account is from the perspective of being in a Long Distance Relationship, if you’d like to know more about our experience AFTER the move, then please click [here]!

 

To read other stories on LDR’s, please check out the links below!